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Friday, August 13, 2004

Floridians Flee Cheney's Wrath


Satellite image of the United States taken on Friday at 6:32 a.m. ET.

Upon hearing that Floridians are moving into the Kerry-Edwards camp, Vice President Dick Cheney unleashed a torrent of strong terms and winds directed at the key battleground state today. Invoking his Constitutional powers to destroy any place on the Earth that displeases him, Cheney became a Category 3 hurricane and is expected to make landfall sometime this evening.

Vice Hurricane Cheney was quoted as saying, "I'm going to show those Floridians who's in charge. If they don't like it, they can go fuck themselves." The weather has caused the Bush/Cheney campaign some concern, as this only serves to highlight the stark contrast between Cheney's stormy demeanor and Democratic Vice Presidential candidate John Edwards' sunny disposition.

An administration official, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, countered that any devastation caused by Mr. Cheney's outburst of meteorological petulance will be mitigated by the administration's ability to declare Florida a disaster area and send billions of dollars in relief to the state, which should know better than to vote against Bush. Emergency officials issued evacuation warnings from the Florida Keys up through southwest Florida into the heavily populated Tampa Bay area, which hasn't taken a direct hit from a Vice President since Herbert Hoover's running-mate, Charles Curtis, told Floridians that the country had "turned a corner".

ntodd

August 13, 2004 | Permalink

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» Edward's sunny disposition v. Hurricane Dick from winding road in urban area
This is hilarious. Dohiyi Mirknows which way the ill wind blows. Bush better send money. His daddy was slow on the uptake during Florida storm season and paid for it. Clinton made hay with it. I am positive Karl Rove [Read More]

Tracked on Aug 14, 2004 6:36:45 AM

» Edward's sunny disposition v. Hurricane Dick from winding road in urban area
This is hilarious. Dohiyi Mir knows which way the ill wind blows. Bush better send money. His daddy was slow on the uptake during Florida storm season and paid for it. Clinton made hay with it. I am positive Karl [Read More]

Tracked on Aug 14, 2004 6:38:13 AM

Comments

We disagree on politics, but I gotta love the phrase "Vice Hurricane Cheney." That's comedy.

On a related note, some blogwhoring.

Posted by: Hubris | Aug 13, 2004 11:08:16 AM

LOL! But careful, although Vermont is fairly safe from hurricanes, I'm sure Cheney can morph his stormy powers into some nasty flood, thunderstorm or blizzard.

Posted by: MercuryX23 | Aug 13, 2004 12:46:41 PM

That was pretty funny.

On the bad side, ya gotta know chimpy is going to turn this into a photo op as he tours the storm ravaged state dispensing emergency funds.

Posted by: four legs good | Aug 13, 2004 3:15:05 PM

That evil bastard! This is sooo funny!

Posted by: Jaye | Aug 14, 2004 6:29:07 AM

The symbol of our opposition to the Bush regime.

http://www.hoflink.com/~dbaer/bush_gold_coin_full.jpg

Posted by: buckfush | Aug 14, 2004 11:22:13 AM

The symbol of our opposition to the Bush regime.

Posted by: buckfush | Aug 14, 2004 11:25:50 AM

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